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1月9日

門下生発表会

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毎年恒例の生徒達の発表会を行いました。今年はみんなで体操などをがんばりましたので、
それなりの成果があったと思います。素晴らしいフォームの人を何人か披露しますね。

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芸大1年生の宮崎司君。

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国立音大4年生の松田幸恵さん。

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芸大4年生の土居幸子さん。

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Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

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I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

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The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

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Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

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After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

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It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

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Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

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Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

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An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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Men have become the tools of their tools.

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Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

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Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

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Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

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If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

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About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

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I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

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Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

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If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

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Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

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Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

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The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

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He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

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Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

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A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

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There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

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Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

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Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

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Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

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You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

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Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

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A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

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Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

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He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

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There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

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Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

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They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoti