« 1月9日 | メイン | 1月30日 »

1月21日

0s-DSCF0125.jpg

白寿ホール・リクライニングコンサート
この日は予想もしなかった大雪になってしまい、中止になるかと思いました。そんな中を来て下さったお客様には、本当に感謝しています。このコンサートは、半分の席をリクライニングすることが出来ます。
舞台から見たらどんな感じかなと思いましたが、別に普通のコンサートと変わりませんでした。

0s-DSCF0129.jpg

このホールは、鯨のお腹の中をイメージして作られています。私も客席で聞いたことがありますが、本当に魚のお腹の中に居る様な気持ちになりました。それと、このデザインのせいかどうかわかりませんが、音が天井から降ってくるような気がします。演奏する時も、とっても弾きやすく、私の大好きなホールです。

0s-DSCF0130.jpg

ピアノは津田裕也君。今回もベートーヴェンのクロイツェルソナタで素晴らしい演奏をしてくれました。譜めくりをしてくれているのは、私のお弟子さんの土居幸子さん。この二人は、この四日前に芸大の卒業試験でベートーヴェンのコンチェルトを演奏しました。

0s-DSCF0131.jpg

0s-DSCF0132.jpg

無伴奏の時には、ライティングを少し暗くしていただきました。

コメント

mnmyxwbluigvicekymil, iypjtgmyha

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

If a man does his best, what else is there?

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change

I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

^^ yeh that is so true. I have to agree with you

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change

bptnrlzbfbrelymqlhrv, http://www.ygmvpfgxaq.com epqaezrgil

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.